广州日记: 关于孤独

晚饭后, 回到办公室。两天的日子过去了,越发的觉得懒散,好像骨头被人抽去一样。 翻开我的圣经,是这段话:
。。。。。
“Right,” I said. “So all there is left is the world is boredom… there are no adventures when you know that you can’t be troubled by any thing on this earth. Your only problem is that you don’t have problems!”
That, I thought, was a terrific piece of talking.
“You missed, there.” He said. “Tell me why I quit my job… do you know why I quit the Messiah job?”
“Crowds, you said, everybody wanting you to do their miracles for them.”
“Yeah. Not the first, the second. Crowdophobia is your cross, not mine. It’s not crowds that wear me, it’s the kind of crowd that doesn’t care at all about what I came to say. You can walk New York to London on the ocean, you can pull gold coins out of forever and still not make them care, you know. ”
When he said that, he looked lonelier than I had ever seen a man still alive. He didn’t need food or shelter or money or fame. He was dying of his need to say what he knows, and nobody cared enough to listen.
我说: “可不是么,当你知道这世界上没任何事情能让你觉得头疼的时候, 剩下的就只有无聊了。。什么都不再让你觉得新奇,。 你唯一的问题是,你没有任何问题!”
我觉得自己这段话挺牛。
“你错了,夥计” ,他说。“告诉我,我是为什么辞去我的工作的。。你知道我为什么不肯再干天使了么?”
“人啊,你说过的。所以的人都想让你帮他们显示神迹。”
“不错。但不是第一个,而是第二个原因。恐惧人群是你的问题,不是我的。人群一点没让我觉得累,让我受不了的是那些不在乎我说什么的人。你可以从海面上从纽约步行到伦敦,却没办法让这些家伙在乎。”
当他说这些话的时候,他看上去那么的孤独。我从没见过任何一个活人如此孤独。他不需要食物和住处,也不需要钱财和名声。为了说出他的所知,他可以去死, 但却找不到一个听众。

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